You might be surprised to discover how many hindrances to prayer life are firmly rooted in fear. For example, some people avoid prayer because they don’t feel worthy of communicating with a perfect God. That translates into fear of inferiority in the face of an angry and unforgiving deity. Some people don’t pray because they think it may be a waste of their time. That translates into fear that either they can’t pray effectively, or that God doesn’t care enough to listen. Some people don’t pray because they are uncomfortable with the vulnerability that comes with opening themselves wholly up to God. That’s a fear of intimacy. The good news is that people can overcome these fears. The following discussions look at the most common fears that prevent people from praying, and explain how you can redirect the energy lost on fear into a courageous and vibrant prayer practice.

Fear of Inferiority

As human beings, we are as capable of shame, embarrassment, and low self-esteem as we are of pride, arrogance, and egotism. If you are like most people, there are times when you feel too ashamed to pray. Perhaps you feel that you haven’t given sufficient attention to God to warrant His response in a time of need. Or perhaps you regret certain behaviors or events and, as a result, doubt your relationship with God. You may even go so far as to ask others to pray for you, but don’t feel justified in asking for help yourself. You just can’t find “the gall”—so you think—to ask for personal aid. How can you conquer these fears of inferiority?

Gaining a New Perspective

Throughout history, people have forged ahead through their feelings of inadequacy and self-disappointment by forming an image of God that helps them feel closer to Him. You may find some of these images helpful too. Two of the most common ways to feel greater closeness to God involve imagining Him as a loving parent, and visualizing Him as a spouse or intimate friend. You might call this process the personification of God—assigning to God the attributes of a human. Of course, God is not human, but picturing Him as a familiar person in a familiar scene may help you to understand God in some way, which is better than not understanding Him at all. And God, being All Things, does embody the qualities that would come with parenting and friendship, so it makes sense to use such images.

Many traditions, such as Judaism and Christianity, encourage the conceptualization of God as a loving parent. While God may act as judge, God is also a compassionate life-giver who seeks the betterment, not the harm, of His creatures. So let’s build a story about a loving father and his child—a story that will help us examine the fear of being unworthy to pray.

Imagine a gentle father who simply adores his little girl. In fact, he recently spent quite some time and effort choosing a wonderful toy for that child, and gave it to her as a birthday gift. She has been enjoying it very much. However, the child does not realize her own strength, nor the fragility of the toy. One evening, while sitting on her porch, the little girl accidentally breaks a piece off the toy during play, and the toy no longer works properly.

The child understands that the toy was a gift from her dad, and a gift that he gave her so that she could have pleasure. She realizes that her dad is standing on the porch steps, watching her, and that he has witnessed her breaking of the toy. The little girl feels guilty and ashamed. Furthermore, she grows fearful that her father will yell at her, or that he will consider her a careless ingrate and never give her another toy.

Would that dad want the little girl to feel that way? Would he think such things of a child who simply did not know how to pace her actions and control her own strength? He’d probably be more inclined to share her disappointment and help her fix the toy. Meanwhile, the child learns to be gentler. Her failure to pace her actions was destructive to her life, not directly destructive to her father’s life. The little girl is the one who suffers, and she is also the one who learns the lesson.

Place God in the parent’s position, and place yourself in the girl’s position. If you’ve broken something—a promise, a heart, a value, or anything else—you are the one who carries the disappointment and anger, not God. You are the one who is harmed by the ensuing events. God is calling you into communication, not pushing you away. You, in turn, must be receptive, just as the little girl simply has to be receptive to the parent’s hugs and comfort after making a clumsy mistake.

We draw on a Hassidic Jewish concept—and also a Christian and Muslim mystical tradition—when we imagine God as a spouse or intimate friend. Again, let’s use this image to examine the fear of being unworthy to pray. It is another way of visualizing God to make Him more familiar, and therefore more accessible in spite of our personal weaknesses.

Pretend that you are driving with an aging spouse. Your partner is anxious about a less-than-perfect health report just received from the doctor. He is completely preoccupied with this sign of aging and, in his agitation, he is not driving particularly well. He hits the curb and sends a hubcap flying off a wheel of the car—that is, the family’s new car.

Because love brings calm and clarity, you understand that your partner didn’t intentionally damage the car. He wasn’t trying to upset you. He was so racked with anxiety that he did not perform his best at that moment. Let’s assume that you are not hotheaded or obsessed with material objects—which, of course, is the case. Instead of railing at him for being an idiot, instead of heaping further insults on him about how aging has even affected his driving, you simply say that he has worked himself up into a terrible state. You tell him that he is all right, and that you will do your best to help him get through his worries—and to find the hubcap. When you truly love someone, any upset is a far second to the compassion you feel.

Now pretend that God is in the passenger seat and that you are the shaky spouse. So you’ve made a mess of a wheel; so you’ve gotten off track when it comes to certain things in life. God understands it all, because God is in you, experiencing what you are experiencing. There is no shame in mistakes; they are in the past. There is no excessive guilt in the face of perfect love, only repentance and forgiveness.

God is perfect and complete, not subject to destruction by human weaknesses or by offenses. You need not fear that God will react like an angry person; God is not an angry person, nor is He spiteful. In a perfect love, who or what could be spiteful? God exists in a bigger context than the mistakes we’ve made in our pasts, and encompasses more than the here and now. So do not hesitate to pray. Whatever has occurred in your life, you are worthy of turning to prayer.

Of course, imagining God as a compassionate person doesn’t even begin to touch the entirety of God’s nature. But it might give you the push you need to gain courage and pursue the practice of prayer. It is necessary to make the following point: Don’t confine yourself to images of a masculine God if that doesn’t work for you. Don’t feel it is necessary to picture God primarily as a teacher if you have had bad experiences with authority figures. At the outset of your prayer practices, choose images that are healthy for you.

Fear of Weakness and Failure

Perfectionism is pathological these days. So many of us have a paralyzing fear of making a mistake, of creating a mess. It’s actually painful for some of us to ask for help. Do any of these questions sound familiar: If I turn to God, does that mean I’m too weak to handle things sufficiently? And if I do pray, but I don’t do it right, am I only making things worse? If these questions strike a chord, the fear of weakness and failure may be hindering your spiritual growth.

Gaining a New Perspective

To overcome obstacles posed by the fear of seeming weak, it is vital to first realize that none of us is meant to be completely on our own. We are social creatures. The soul actively seeks completion through union with God and other beings. Therefore, it’s not a sign of weakness and failure to turn to God in prayer. Quite the contrary, it’s a step forward, for in doing so, you lose some of the egotistical delusions of control that are so damaging to the body, mind, and spirit. In fact, praying to God is a sign of courage; it shows that you are open enough to rely on more than the sturdy self.

Second, it is a mistake to believe that there is a right way to pray and a wrong way to pray. Prayer does not have to be eloquent; it requires no fancy rhetoric and no advanced degrees. It is silence as much as words; movement as much as stillness. Furthermore, you don’t have to get down on your knees to catch God’s attention, nor do you have to say a set number of formulaic prayers to obtain favors. If you choose prayer techniques that involve these methods, that’s fine. But you are not “messing up” if you don’t mimic the prayer agenda of another person. The only way that your prayers will be effective for you is if they are truly your prayers. You inherently know how best to communicate with your God. Trust yourself. Realize that you can’t fail at prayer. Any honest attempt at communication with God will be beautiful.

During a discussion at Gethsemani Monastery, the Dalai Lama suggested that anyone who fears he can’t pray—who thinks “I can’t do this,” “I’m not skilled enough to do this,” or the like—should reflect on ideas that encourage the soul. For example, he recommends that Buddhists ponder the notion that they contain Buddha-nature. This is somewhat akin to Judaism’s concept of a divine spark in everything, as well as the Christian view that the Holy Spirit is alive in each one of us. Acknowledging Buddha-nature can embolden an individual, infusing her with confidence in her abilities to continue her spiritual journey. Another option the Dalai Lama suggested is that the Buddhist concentrate on the good situation at hand—that she has the time and the luxury to sit in meditation and work toward enlightenment. The simple fact that she exists in this lifetime, capable of growing closer to nirvana, is heartening. Similarly, every Jew, Christian, and Muslim can inspire herself with thoughts of God’s constant presence and ever-flowing grace. Dwelling on such positive notions about her own capacities to tap into the Divine can help a person overcome fears of weakness and failure.

Mother Teresa once had a reporter run up to her and spurt out a rather awkward question: “Are you a saint?” Poking the man gently in the chest, she replied, “Yes, and so are you!” Mother Teresa’s confidence in each person’s spiritual strength teaches us that God does not discriminate. He doesn’t keep report cards. What counts is not how much help you have to ask for, or how many words you say, but how much sincerity and love permeate your prayers. If you are already so precious and successful in God’s eyes just by being you, how can you fail at prayer?

Fear of the Unknown

In his book Recovering the Soul: A Scientific and Spiritual Search, Larry Dossey, MD, coins the term spiritual agoraphobia. Much like psychological agoraphobia, which is a fear of open places, spiritual agoraphobia is the fear of the vast openness and selflessness of realizing “nonlocal mind.” By nonlocal mind, Dossey means an aspect of ourselves that is beyond our earthly notions of time and space. Nonlocal mind, which we all possess, can access the Infinite and communicate on a higher level. Perhaps we can call it the soul. And it’s the soul that takes action in prayer. Many people are afraid to pray because prayer calls us to enter into the vast and powerful space of the soul. In that space, we are not bound by the familiar laws of the physical world. As a result, some individuals anticipate feeling lost and vulnerable during prayer.

Gaining a New Perspective

To help quell fears of travelling the unknown in prayer, try to focus on prayer as remembrance. Prayer calls us to a re-awakening of something that we’ve always known—something of which we have always been a part, and is forever a part of us. So it makes sense to approach prayer as if it is a road home. Although it is not tangible or visible, the spiritual life is your home. Your intuition is calling you back to something fundamental and familiar. In developing this trust, and in entering prayer with this confidence, you are bound to chip away at notions of the spiritual realm as a large unknown.

To illustrate this solution, let’s look at the story of Elizabeth, a teacher who leads a very routine-oriented life. Elizabeth is the type of person who does not like change or surprises; she desires the comfort of a set schedule and full knowledge of anything in which she gets involved. When Elizabeth became interested in strengthening her prayer life, one of the things that hindered her most was the fact that she hadn’t previously been taught how to pray, nor could she know just where her prayers went, what they did, or how they worked. Essentially, she felt a loss of control, and it made her nervous enough to avoid praying.

Then Elizabeth went to a lecture on Zen Buddhism. During the discussion, she learned that in Zen teaching, enlightenment is considered a reawakening—a shedding of delusion, and the recovery of sight. She learned that the truth about ourselves and the world lies deep within us from the start, and that each of us inherently holds the power to access that truth. Hearing that she already had the capacity for the insight necessary to grow in her spirituality, Elizabeth felt less vulnerable in approaching prayer. She trusted that whether she was reciting fixed words or simply thinking about God’s presence, she would be just fine.

In addition to viewing prayer as a road home, you can help yourself become more comfortable with the spiritual side of life by praying in ways that come easiest to you. While it is always helpful to have a mentor or to learn from others’ examples, be true to yourself and enter into prayer in ways that you find particularly appealing. For example, if you like nature and feel close to the Divine when in natural settings, dedicate some time to God by walking through a forest or strolling on the beach. Simply become aware of the Divine Presence in that familiar setting. You don’t have to imagine your prayers going up to a distant, unfamiliar realm; Heaven or Paradise is as much here and now as it is in the future or beyond the universe. You don’t need to pressure yourself to delve into the mysteries of existence; just enjoy the moment at hand, for it, too, is infused with spiritual energy. By allowing yourself to see God in what is most beautiful and familiar, you may be able to conquer your fear of entering the space of the soul.

Think about how a child often hates to go to sleep at night. A toddler will struggle to stay awake because she fears what will happen when she closes her eyes and drifts away. She’s afraid that Mommy will disappear, or that something will harm her. Even the expression “to fall asleep” communicates a certain vulnerability or instability. But as the child grows, she realizes that sleep is a natural part of the day, and that sleep feels great! The benefits of sleep are unmatched, and it becomes as vital as breathing and eating. On a metaphorical level, isn’t prayer like sleep? At first, you may feel afraid to go into it on your own. Will your regular life disappear? Will you have to change? Will you find out things that you don’t want to know? With time, you will realize that prayer is a natural part of your day, and that prayer feels great! The benefits of prayer become unmatched, and it will become central to your spiritual health.

Furthermore, there is no need to place heavy demands on yourself, such as long prayer sessions or expectations of the paranormal. Start small, conducting brief prayer sessions in which you talk to God as though you were talking to another human. Work on letting go of superstitions. Visions and fitful ecstasies are not the norm. God doesn’t want to scare you; He won’t surprise you with flying objects or allow you to drown in some immaterial dimension. God has always been with you and in you, and you have always had access to the soul’s space. Prayer doesn’t lead you into anything brand-new. Instead, it allows you to turn your full attention back to a part of you that you’ve always held inside.

Fear of Being Disappointed

Perhaps you have tried prayer—you have sincerely and devotedly asked God for help—and you found the answer unsatisfying, or you received no answer at all. After a disappointment in life, it is natural to shy away from reliance on the source of that disappointment. In order to avoid repeating that awful letdown, you might very well hesitate to be hopeful again. So if your past prayers weren’t answered in the ways you expected, you may fear that, at best, prayer really won’t do much good, and, at worst, prayer will end up hurting and disappointing you.

And maybe the fear of disappointment doesn’t even come from a past prayer experience. Perhaps someone you trusted ended up disappointing or betraying you. Now you are supersensitive when it comes to relinquishing control and putting yourself in another’s care—even in God’s care. What can you do to relieve this hesitancy?

Gaining a New Perspective

To dissolve the fear of being disappointed, consider two steps. First, realize that God is not human. Therefore, He is not fickle or subject to emotional whims. He is not selfish and therefore prone to betrayal. The relationship that is fostered through prayer is not vulnerable to changes in loyalty. God’s presence is unwavering and the love of God is unconditional, but you must allow yourself to be receptive to it. If you have one set notion of how God should reveal an answer, you are working at a disadvantage. You are trying to control God and to script your future. That brings us to the second step.

Remind yourself that prayer doesn’t change the world to suit the individual’s needs. It changes the person who prays, widening her perspective and developing the insight necessary to change things for the better. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by viewing prayer as a magic formula that will produce the white rabbit if you wave the wand just so. Certainly have confidence that God will hear you and help you, but avoid thinking that your immediate desires are definitely what should be heeded. God is goodness and love. He will provide what is necessary for the continued creation of your world and the entire universe, if you ask. But that doesn’t mean that you will immediately see, hear, or understand God’s answers. Be patient, and trust that God is working within you, tending to the problems and the wonders at hand.

If you think about it, were every prayer of every prayer practitioner to yield the requested outcome, the world would be a mess. Utter chaos and contradiction would arise from the indulgence of everyone’s desires. We have to trust that there’s a bigger, better plan unfolding, of which we are a part. As a force of love and goodness, God is tending to both your heart and the universe all at once. That’s why you are bound to face times when things don’t turn out the way you think or feel they should at that moment. But if you enter into prayer with a receptive and open mind—with an attitude of “Thy will be done” instead of “My will be done”—you won’t be so disappointed. With this approach, instead of demanding a specific outcome, you will pray, “I sincerely want this to happen, but I also accept that I cannot see the entirety of what is unfolding, and I trust that You, God, will yield what is best.”

Fear of Intimacy

Many people experience a fear of getting too close to God through prayer. Prayer might work too well, making God a vibrant presence in daily life! For some, it feels a little like Big Brother is watching. Are you a bit frightened to let God in? Intimacy often means responsibility, and that can be scary. And an all-knowing, ever-present God is definitely intimate with you. He is there at every fight, every gossip session, every embrace. What happens if you don’t feel ready for this Presence?

Gaining a New Perspective

Fear of intimacy with God should be handled like any other fear of intimacy. Don’t overwhelm yourself with demands; start slowly and learn trust in God. Begin by imagining God as a friendly, caring Force that will help you make good decisions and find peace. If you believe that God is within you and acting through you, it won’t feel like you are performing in front of a hidden camera. Rather, it will feel as though you are listening to, and being true to, the deepest part of yourself.

If you are just beginning your prayer journey, give yourself some slack. Pray in a place where you don’t feel too alone. You might consider praying with a group at first, and then gradually working into a personal prayer practice. You might start by making an effort to bless people in passing and to thank God at random times throughout the day, and then eventually work up to sessions in which you sit in silence and become more introspective. Perhaps you want to consider using prayer aids—soft music and calming incense—to keep tension at a minimum. Keep reminding yourself that God has been with you and in you at all times, and that prayer time is just a full turning of your attention to that aspect of your life. And rest assured that as you continue to practice prayer, you will become more familiar with your God. He will turn out to be like an old friend, a close confidant, with whom it is pleasing to dwell. You are likely to make changes in your life as a result of prayer, but those changes will be a natural result of better insight and desire, not of fear and pressure.

Fear of Silence and Stillness

Our fast-paced world does everything in its power to cheapen silence and stillness. We become restless at lulls in conversation. We dismiss amusement rides that don’t plummet at top speeds. We turn on the television or CD player the moment we enter the house. So it’s pretty easy to feel a little nervous about personal prayer. It often involves quiet—maybe even silence—and stillness. Do you anticipate boredom? Are you afraid of coming face to face with emptiness? Are you nervous that upsetting or even frightening thoughts will flood your mind? If so, you’re not alone. Yet there are many ways to initially to diminish that silence and, over time, to learn to revel in the stillness and peace of prayer.

Gaining a New Perspective

The truth is that many of us are more comfortable making noise, because external sound masks the inner cries that we want to avoid. It’s time to be honest and face those cries. Silence and stillness can take some getting used to. However, through them, we learn how to heal ourselves and our world, as well as to truly enjoy life. We have to familiarize ourselves with silence and stillness, just as we have to familiarize ourselves with the layout of a new house or the movements of a new dance. Always keep in mind, though, that God never leaves us empty, and prayer is always done in God.

Comfort with the quiet and stillness of prayer comes with practice and time. But it’s worth it. Subtleties of experience arise in silence and stillness, which are both therapeutic and spiritually energizing. In moments of quiet and calm, our bodies, minds, and spirits recharge, reorder, and remember. You may find that your creativity blossoms, that you come up with wonderful ideas. You will return to daily life refreshed and invigorated. To help you achieve that comfort, here are a few ideas.

If stark silence is too much to start with, consider diminishing the severity of the silence with quiet background music. As you begin your prayer session, click on a pleasant, calming CD or cassette. Some effective types of music are quiet chants, religious hymns, or even some classical or New Age music that you find meditative. Another option is to pray outdoors, where there are sounds of nature. You might like to hear the lapping of the ocean or a lake, or the rustle of wind in the trees. This will reduce any nerve-wracking notions of isolation. Of course, if you reside in a crowded urban center, this may not be a possibility. In such a case, a recording of nature sounds might put you in a pleasant state of mind.

If feelings of restlessness keep you from enjoying stillness, you may want to practice forms of prayer that involve bodily movements. Perhaps prayer gestures, like bowing and prostrations, would help you feel less tense during prayer. Or perhaps dance would help you express certain feelings and frustrations. Even a slight swaying and the quiet singing of your prayers might make prayer time a little easier.

Lastly, if the silence of prayer troubles you, consider starting with fixed prayers—prayers that have already been written and with which you may already be familiar. Whether you read the prayers out of a book or recite them from memory, the readiness of words may make the quiet less intimidating.

Fear That Personal Requests Are Too Insignificant

Considering that so many people in the world have overwhelming problems—problems like starvation, illness, and poverty—do you feel a little petty asking God to help you do well in a new job, or to guide you in patching things up with a friend? If so, you share in a common assumption that your personal problems are too small to even be considered by a “big” God. Perhaps you are afraid that asking for help will demonstrate selfish audacity. Maybe you even fear that the requests will be dismissed—that God will give you the cold shoulder because you were self-centered enough to ask for his assistance. Does this sound familiar?

Gaining a New Perspective

Remind yourself that God is not human. God doesn’t turn His attention away from you to hear another’s prayers. He is not characterized by an attention span that can be short or long, depending on mood and subject matter. The reason that God is so sublime is that He is everywhere at once, permeating everything at all times. He is a personal God—existing inside you, solely for you—as well as a transcendent God.

Think of how the sun shines down from the sky. If you go out on a Saturday morning and bask in the sun, does that diminish the sun? Is that a selfish act? Not at all! You are taking appreciative advantage of a wonderful source of warmth and light. That’s why it’s there! Are you too insignificant for the sun to reach? Not at all! You can feel its healing power right away. Are the millions of people on earth ranked in importance, with some warranting more sunlight than others? Not at all! Every person has her own experience of or relationship with the sun.

Well, God is like the sun, and practicing prayer is like laying out in the sun. Prayer doesn’t drain a limited source of mercy; God is unlimited. And if God is shining in your spiritual sky, why would you refuse to accept the gift? It won’t take away from anyone else’s experience of God. God is shining in their personal universes just as powerfully and completely as in yours. You have your very own relationship with Him that exists independently of others’ relationships with Him. God’s love and mercy is not allotted or rationed out. It is always overflowing with plenty.

OTHER REASONS WHY PEOPLE DON’T PRAY

As discussed above, fear—fear of inferiority, of intimacy, of silence, of any number of things—is one of the chief reasons that people don’t pray. But there are other reasons why people avoid, postpone, or reject the practice of prayer. Fortunately, like fear, these roadblocks can usually be overcome, freeing you to enjoy a rewarding spiritual life.

Lack of Time

Do you cringe at the thought of fitting yet another commitment into your daily schedule? Are you already sleep-deprived and continually harried? If so, you may not pray for the simple reason that you don’t have a solid hour of “self” time available to reserve for prayer each day. You may not even have thirty minutes! And your schedule is so unpredictable that you can’t possibly “pencil in” prayer sessions during the week.

Unfortunately, some people deprive themselves of prayer’s benefits because of an all-or-nothing philosophy: “If I’m going to pray, then I’m going to do it right—long, quiet, uninterrupted sessions with flawless focus. If I can’t make that commitment, it’s just not worth it.” And there are always occurrences that prevent such a stringent commitment. There are sick parents to tend to, children to feed, overtime to put in, bills to pay, friends to counsel, and much, much more. So where does that leave prayer?

Gaining a New Perspective

First, it is very important to shed the notion that prayer has to claim an extensive period of time, or even that there is a right way and a wrong way to pray. Sure, you will find that some prayer techniques are more effective than others. And you may find that prayer is best when you are able to enjoy an extended period of quiet and stillness. But just because you cannot arrange a daily, hour-long, solitary session doesn’t mean that you should give up the entire practice. It’s okay to fit prayer into your day at any time, in any place, in any way, for any duration. Once you adopt this perspective, you’ll find that there are countless prayer opportunities. You may start praying more than you ever thought you would!

For example, think about all the time that you spend alone in the car, driving to work, to the supermarket, to the library, to campus—whatever applies to you. These moments can be used to say a few beautiful fixed prayers, or just to converse with God as you would with a friendly passenger. Perhaps you’d even like to play a few hymns and sing along. Or maybe you’d like to observe some of the people in the cars around you and bless them, finding a connection with the divine spark in each of them. These are all forms of prayer—and perfect forms, at that!

How about practicing awareness of God, and maybe even articulating some of your personal thoughts and needs to Him, during your morning jog? How about taking a few minutes to thank God for the good food as you prepare dinner, and to say a couple of blessings for the food animals and the crop harvesters that took part in providing it? Such activities keep you in conscious communication with God, and that is prayer. Prayer does not have to take a long time to perform. Prayer can be spontaneous, improvised, and brief.

You may also want to reconsider your life schedule, and then attempt to give prayer a higher priority. As you read through this book, you will realize the amazing power of prayer. It has the ability to make you a happier, healthier person. Once you begin to practice prayer regularly, you may even find that prayer brings with it a calm and clarity that make you more effective as you go about your daily activities. So shifting things around to reserve a prayer space several times during the week—or even once a week—is definitely worth the effort.

PRIDE

Many people, especially those raised on the American ideal of self-sufficiency, tend to take the maxim “Physician, heal thyself” a little too seriously. Our culture glamorizes the notion of personal independence. A hero is a stalwart man who doesn’t cry and never asks for help. The woman who redeems her gender is the one who succeeds on her own, and outdoes the person sitting next to her, as well. And so we are convinced that if we are really worth anything, we’ll be able to manage things without the aid of others. Therefore, we sometimes force ourselves to go it alone. That’s an ideal that is destructive to every part of life, including spirituality. It fosters the belief that we shouldn’t need God, and certainly shouldn’t need prayer.

Gaining a New Perspective

To overcome pride that keeps you from a more active prayer life, take a critical look at severe self-sufficiency. The “rugged individualism” that has been cited as the pathway to the American dream can actually do harm. When the individual assumes that she is in this life by herself and for herself, she places limits on her growth. Such extreme pride diminishes the human experience. Much enrichment is gained from establishing and enhancing relationships. This is true not only of relationships with other people, but also of relationships with God.

Through the relationship with God that is created in prayer, you will reap countless benefits. Prayer has an unmatched ability to fill you with good, wholesome energy. It brings possibility, hope, insight, and knowledge. Your work will be more productive. Your outlook on life will be more optimistic. You will notice more beauty and experience more fulfillment. Egocentric pride can deprive you of these gifts.

If you find yourself too proud to pray, think about your inextricable link to the many people and creatures of this world. Think about how almost everything you do involves something that someone else has contributed. At work, do you use a computer or other machinery? Someone designed that machinery, and someone fixes it when it breaks. Do you keep in touch with friends through the mail? Someone makes the paper that you write on, and someone delivers that mail. You can think of endless examples. Just give yourself a minute or two, and notice how the efforts of others flood into your mind. No matter how independent we think we are, we depend on the earth and its creatures, on mutual respect, on natural law, and on a benevolent creative force.

The truth is that we need God. We need the way God accepts us through a child’s smile. We need the way God holds us in a mother’s hug. We need the way God nourishes us through the fruits and vegetables of the land. We need the way God speaks to us in the beauty of music and the breath of the wind. Acknowledging God and dependence on His creations does not diminish the power of the individual. It enhances the individual by making her a key part of a brilliant project—an irreplaceable, precious member of a divine family.

LACK OF FAITH

If you chose to pick this book up and to become involved in its subject matter, then you probably don’t suffer from a complete lack of faith. Something has attracted you to God, and you have invested some sort of confidence in prayer. But some people have no faith. They possess no belief in a God with whom they can develop a relationship. In fact, some possess no belief in any kind of God at all. So understandably, they don’t pray. What would be the use?

Gaining a New Perspective

Arguments for the existence of God are beyond the scope of this book. But even assuming that a person lacks faith, there are quite a few reasons to pray. Prayer can be viewed as a turning to the highest level of the self—the most profound and creative part of the self. During prayer time, when attention resides in awareness of the most powerful aspects of the individual, the person who prays can find inspiration for better ideas and attain fuller understandings of herself and her world.

The practice of prayer can also be calming, and everyone can use a little more calm in their lives. Achieving a state of personal quiet and stillness, allowing the burdens of the ego to drift away, the person who prays can move closer to clarity, health, and the enjoyment of life. Prayer affords the practitioner a time, space, and fuel to reorder her personal world and renew her personal energy.

Then there is the simple truth that prayer is beautiful. As a form of art, as an avenue for the creative drive found deep within, prayer is lovely. It is like playing the piano. Each word, image, or moment of contemplation is like the striking of a key that produces a pure, wholesome sound, satisfying the heart and the senses. So the practice of prayer can be worthwhile even for the person who lacks faith in God and prayer’s effectiveness. No matter which way you look at it, prayer enhances the quality of life.




Copyright © 2001 by Helene Ciaravino

From How to Pray by Helene Ciaravino (Garden City Park, New York: Square One Publishers)