Remember that, above all else, prayer is prayer. You don’t have to follow a certain regimen in order to pray more effectively. You don’t have to pray just like Mr. So-and-So in order to please God. The important thing is that you pray. And your prayer life will be more productive if you shape it around your personality and spiritual maturity, not someone else’s. So it is helpful to give yourself options.

The following discussion attempts to categorize prayer into several general types. Some people find that as they spiritually change and mature, one type of prayer style yields to another. For example, they might start with vocal prayer, move to meditative prayer, and end up practicing contemplation. However, many others are just as happy choosing a different prayer form on different days, alternating according to their own needs at a given moment. Of course, only through personal practice will you find the technique or techniques that work best for you. This discussion was designed to offer ideas and get you started, so that you can ultimately make choices that suit you best.

Fixed Prayer

Fixed prayers are prayers that have already been composed, and usually have been part of religious traditions for extended periods of time. For example, the Shema is a significant fixed prayer for the Jewish community. It dates back hundreds of years and is not only a part of religious services, but also a daily personal prayer for many Jews. Christians have been reciting the “Our Father” since Jesus taught it to them two thousand years ago. Muslims perform centuries-old fixed blessings during the daily obligatory prayer repertoire called salat. And many Buddhists like to recite the Three Refuges before entering into meditation.

Fixed prayers may be said aloud or silently recited in the mind, but whatever the choice, language is necessarily involved. And language is a highly effective means of praying. In his book In Speech and In Silence, author David J. Wolpe discusses the fundamental power of words: “In moments of great feeling, we search for the right words, though they elude us. Somehow experience is not full until we can frame it in language. Love unspoken in incomplete.” He further asserts: “We send our voices ahead of us to probe into the heart of things, to grill them, to make the array of life comprehensible to our minds.” Thus, words are truly powerful as a mode of expression, self-exploration, and release, and fixed prayer not only employs this power, but imbues it with community tradition to grant a sense of wholeness and familial love.

Sometimes you won’t have the strength or feel the creative spark needed to find your own prayer words, perhaps because you are fatigued, depressed, hurting, or even overjoyed. At such times, fixed prayers offer a satisfying means of expression. Or you may find that a particular fixed prayer seems to capture your sentiments and needs so fully that it is too good to pass up. Someone else’s words may become a wonderful gift for you—a gift that should be appreciated and used.

Of course, fixed prayers may already be part of your religious group practices, both during formal services and during personal prayer time. In such cases, traditional set prayers tie you to the spiritual energy of your religious community. Every religion has established prayers for the faithful to use. In fact, many religions assign certain prayers to certain times.

The recitation of fixed prayers is also a valuable way to enhance prayer time when concentrating on mental or visual images. The words become so familiar that they can be chanted while you meditate upon an aspect of your spirituality. This is not to suggest that you shouldn’t focus on the words and fill them with zeal. But the truth is that the rhythms and familiarity of fixed prayers can also serve as a tool for concentration.

It is a good idea to keep copies of several fixed prayers in your personal prayer space, for times when you feel drawn to recite familiar prayers. But when using fixed prayers, be sure to keep several important points in mind. First, resist the temptation to use fixed prayers as magic chants. Because they often come from long-established traditions that may even have certain rituals involved, it’s easy to attach superstitions or magical qualities to them. Avoid thinking, “If I say these words in just the right way, I’ll convince God to answer me.” Fixed prayers are aids for communicating with God, not spells. There is also the danger of fixed prayers becoming so routine that they are recited by rote. To avoid this, approach your prayers with energy; clearly form your intentions to concentrate wholeheartedly on the subjects of the prayers; and consider interspersing your fixed prayers with improvised, conversational prayer—spontaneous prayer—which is discussed below.

Spontaneous Prayer

We have explained that the most basic definition of prayer is simply a conversation with God. In daily life, we converse in a number of ways. But for most of us, language is the primary mode of conversation. As discussed in the section on fixed prayer, words help us find ourselves in this world. Even many of our inner thoughts occur in words. It is through words that we best know how to process, report, thank, praise, apologize, complain, and request.

So when you are communicating with God, why not simply speak to Him? Tell God about your day, about your desire and needs, about your worries. Whether aloud or silently, share your thoughts. Talk through the things that made you smile, and express your gratitude. Work out the things that are making you tense, and open yourself up for new perspectives. This honest conversation will enable your relationship with God to grow and flourish.

Spontaneous prayer not only lacks protocol when it comes to word choice, but also lacks protocol when it comes to timing. In certain cultures like Judaism and Islam, some fixed prayers are assigned to specific times of the day. But spontaneous prayer can occur at any moment, whenever you feel moved to reach out with your words. Thus, it makes the practice of prayer all the more personal, and has the power to infuse your entire day with a sense of the sacred.

Sacred Reading

Undoubtedly, you have moments when, instead of desiring to recite prayers, you want to listen. One way to move away from your own words and into God’s answers is to perform sacred reading. Yes, you still reside within the bounds of language when you read Scriptures or other spiritual texts, but you are not doing the talking. You are being fed.

When reading from Scriptures and sacred texts, select a passage and take your time with it. Read it slowly, and perhaps several times. Digest the meaning, or various meanings, and apply the words to your own life. Allow yourself to dwell on the images and memories that the passage invokes. Sacred writings are so much more than just words. In fact, in Western religious traditions, some texts are considered to be the actual revealed words of God, and so are infused with lessons and love.

Meditation

The term meditation means so many different things to so many different people. But there is a common factor. Meditation takes us away from the tendency to fill the moment with our preoccupations and analyses. It calls us to be receptive, to empty ourselves of anxiety and ego concern, and to dwell on the Divine or the Truth of the moment. Below you will find a number of meditation techniques that appeal to countless prayer practitioners. When personalized to suit your own style and needs, they can make a significant difference in your life.

Mantras and Chants

The rhythmic repetition of sacred words or phrases allows for great concentration on God or the Absolute. This prayer method calls the mind home, away from passing distractions. The voiced or even mental repetition is calming, often bringing the body into unity with the spirit through the loop of sound and energy that is constructed.

In Eastern practices, the repeated phrase or sound is called a mantra. A mantra is selected for the trancing sound and vibrations it produces, such as “Om,” as well as the symbolism it might carry. In Western practices, the activity of repeating a word or phrase is often referred to as chanting. These words and phrases are chosen for the sacred concepts they encourage. Examples are various names for God; single words such as “peace” and “love”; and phrases like, “Lord, have mercy on me.”

If you find it appealing to use a mantra that involves a foreign language, such as the Buddhist Om Mani Padme Hung mantra, it is best to choose a pronunciation that you find comfortable. You may want to keep a copy of the mantra—its original text, its transliteration, and a good translation—in your personal prayer space for reference and inspiration. Likewise, it may be helpful to make a list of various mantras or chants that appeal to you. If you are drawn to a chanting session—in and of itself, or as a way to begin or end a prayer session—and don’t have a particular favorite, you can consult several choices and decide on one that feels best at the moment.

Visualizing God

Visualizing, or mental imaging, is a form of nonvocal prayer. It brings the focus of prayer deeply inward, away from the world’s distractions and anxieties. This is generally a Western practice. During a visualization, the practitioner moves beyond articulation and dwells on a specific, sacred image.

If visualizing God is part of your religious preferences, you know that doing so helps you identify with Him. God is technically not just a being, yet imagining Him as one may help you cultivate a relationship more easily. Jewish and Christian traditions often explain God as a loving father. And mystics from the Jewish, Christian, and Sufi (Muslim) traditions often visualize God as a lover. A familial or loving image can aid you in developing intimacy with God.

Some types of visualizations move beyond pictorial images of, say, God’s face. In Judaism, this might involve mentally visualizing the letters of God’s holy name. In Christianity, it could mean imagining the entire scene of Jesus Christ’s crucifixion. There are also many symbolic images that can be meditated upon.

It is extremely important to select an image with which you are comfortable. If you choose an image that is intimidating or disturbing, you are likely to reduce the confidence and receptivity that is so necessary in effective prayer. So if a masculine view of God doesn’t work for you, try a maternal image. If a parental image upsets you, try a brotherly or sisterly visualization. And if a human depiction seems to be holding you back, try various symbols. Many Christians, for example, imagine the Holy Spirit as a dove. And some Christians symbolize the Holy Trinity—their three-part God—as a triangle with an eye inside. Whatever you decide upon, you are likely to find that visualizations are a helpful way to dedicate time and energy to the exploration of God.

Many people also like to physically focus on an object, which in turn provides the stimulation to mentally fixate on an image or theme. Usually, this involves fixing your gaze upon a religious item and dwelling on its significance. For example, a Christian might gaze upon a cross, which is a symbol not only of the suffering that Jesus Christ endured, but also of a meeting of two realms—the heavenly and the earthly—as depicted in the intersecting lines. And a Buddhist meditator might fix his gaze upon a small statue of the Buddha, placing himself in a quiet state of mind during which the characteristics that the Buddha represents can develop. In such cases, the objects serve as prayer aids.

Breathing Exercises

It seems that, universally, the breath is linked to the Divine, to the soul, to the most fundamental aspects of life. In Judeo-Christian Biblical text, God brought the first people to life by breathing into their bodies. It is therefore not surprising that so many religious approaches include breathing meditations.

Many people imagine the breath as God’s divine energy, filling the prayer practitioner with life and emptying him of impurities. Just dwelling on this interaction with God is a prayer in and of itself. The breath can also be understood as a bridge between the two realms—the outer world and the inner world. By focusing on the movement of the breath between these two spheres, the prayer practitioner can learn to move away from egocentrism and realize his place in the flux of God’s universe.

Contemplation

Contemplation is performed in silence and solitude. It is an all-consuming prayer method that many practitioners find to be the culmination of their personal practice. Interestingly, however, contemplation in the Western tradition is very different from contemplation in the Eastern tradition. So, two separate discussions can be found below.

Western Contemplation

In Western traditions, contemplation is a communion of the soul with its Source, during which no words or images are necessary. Simply stated, the practitioner rests in God, dwelling in, not on, God’s presence. Contemplation can even be defined as a spiritual immersion in God. When a person reaches this level of spirituality, there is a loss of the notion of the self. The divide between Divine and human is removed.

It strikes some people as odd that prayer can be wordless and imageless. Yet many spiritualists consider contemplation the most mature form of prayer. As Christian writer Barbara Gawle explains in How to Pray, there is a turning point at which we no longer seek to communicate with God, but to commune with Him—to be with Him. Saint John of the Cross, a great Christian mystic, proposed that with spiritual maturity comes the change in prayer from words to imageless silence. And as Jewish writer David J. Wolpe writes in his book In Speech and In Silence, “Behind all our explorations, after we exhaust ourselves in words, the silence abides, waiting for us to discover it, to return to it. . . .” There is something so natural and right about dwelling in God, without the labels, sounds, and sights of this world. Contemplation allows you this silence of body and mind, so that a spiritual conversation can take place.

Many spiritualists inform us that contemplation is a normal part of the progression of prayer life. As prayer brings the practitioner away from egocentrism, the thrill of uniting with God is a natural step forward. That is certainly something to work toward!

Eastern Contemplation

Finally, in Eastern practices, contemplation actually involves dwelling upon a fundamental concept that leads to greater insight. The practitioner of Buddhism, for instance, might contemplate the concept of impermanence. First, he must be well schooled on impermanence, having gained knowledge through sacred texts and teachers. Only then can he contemplate the concept in solitude and silence.

As the contemplator grows increasingly familiar with the concept, he develops an understanding of it that moves beyond laborious reasoning and logic. The truth of the concept becomes natural and effortless, as does its eventual manifestation in his life.

PREPARING FOR PRAYER

Prayer is a special time of calm and communion, when you turn your attention wholly to the Divine. Through prayer, you enter into an awareness that stands apart from ordinary notions of time and space; you gain access to the Infinite. Such a significant experience warrants some preparation.

Some people follow strict preparation guidelines that are prescribed by their religious affiliations. Others have no protocol. If you would like to develop a means of readying yourself for the prayer process, the following discussion provides some ideas for your consideration. By creating a sacred space for prayer and preparing yourself both physically and emotionally for this very important portion of your day, you can infuse every prayer session with greater beauty and meaning.

Your Sacred Space

It is true that a person can pray at any time, in any place, in any language, and in any form. If you believe in a God, you are likely to believe that God is all present—not only transcendent but also immanent, in the here and the now. However, because you are in a human body, you are subject to distraction by the senses, and are very influenced by your environment. So it is helpful to establish a sacred space that provides a reverent, calming environment in which you feel safe and introspective.

A place reserved for prayer simply encourages a prayerful state of mind. It by no means has to be a house of worship—although, of course, it can be. Perhaps you have a favorite local church, synagogue, mosque, or temple. That is a good place to go, consistently, for prayer time. Such a place is filled with wonderful energy and inspiration. It is often quiet and beautiful, and is likely to give you a peaceful, serene feeling. Other people find nature settings to be effective for the same reasons. Do you have a quiet local beach where you can sit? Is there a park in which you can find a secluded spot? Just remember to select a place in which you feel completely safe, and where you can remain undisturbed.

You can also create your own sacred space. Whether you have the luxury of space for a prayer room in your home, or you simply have a corner or wall along which you can erect a prayer table—sometimes called an altar—it is very easy to develop such a nook. If you design it according to your relationship with God and the type of prayer you prefer, and you place your favorite prayer aids within it, the sacred space will enrich your prayer life.

What prayer aids might you arrange in your sacred space? Objects that are commonly used on prayer tables or altars include candles, incense or other fragrant objects, plants and flowers, statues, pictures, sacred symbols such as a crucifix or Star of David, prayer beads, sacred texts, and copies of favorite prayers. And because music and hymns can be an effective means of quieting and focusing the mind when played before or during prayer, you may also want to include a CD or cassette player. If you have wall space, consider religious wall hangings and, for mediation, mandalas—concentration devices that, in the Buddhist tradition, unlock spiritual energy and foster insight into the universe.

Your sacred space should be located, if possible, in a very quiet area. You want to have a place to listen to God. It is best to have the ability to dim the lights and otherwise create a relaxing mood. If you use a chair during prayer or meditation, you will certainly want to select a firm but comfortable one. And for floor sitting, a meditation cushion or mat is very helpful. In addition, there are small kneelers that are available for at-home use, some complete with a place to rest your arms and prayer books. These extras make sitting and kneeling more comfortable.

Your Body and Mind

There’s an old expression which says that the body is a temple. It deserves respect and should be treated with dignity. In fact, many mystical traditions teach that every being carries a divine spark at its deepest core. So the body is literally a keeper of the holy. And there’s also the concept of the mind being a personal sanctuary. You can retreat into your silent thoughts, completely immune to invasion. Through these perspectives, the body and mind become sacred space. And just as you would prepare a physical place in which to pray, so should you prepare your internal sacred space for more effective prayer.

Diet

Many people find it helpful to observe a light and healthy diet in preparation for prayer. Try not to burden your body with foods that are difficult to digest prior to a prayer session. If you are in a state of discomfort from fullness, food allergies, and the like, you will struggle with bodily distractions. Furthermore, if you are famished, you will be thinking about your stomach—not to mention hearing it. Such distractions take away from spiritual awareness.

It is best to use common sense when preparing for prayer. Don’t indulge in substances that make you “speed,” such as caffeine or chocolate, if you are sensitive to them. Likewise, avoid substances that diminish your alertness—substances like wine and liquors. Prayer is most effective when you view it as an active, dynamic quest, and mood-altering substances will prevent you from being an alert and responsive prayer practitioner.

Cleansing

Traditionally, cleansing of one or more types has been an important part of the preparation for prayer. Cleansing is a symbolic gesture of renewal, a respectful gesture of reverence, and, quite simply, a healthy and energizing practice.

Cleansing can involve any of the following: physical cleansing of the body through washing or rinsing; internal cleansing of the body accomplished through fasting; and the mental and emotional cleansing achieved through the removal of negative feelings. Let’s look at each of these in turn.

Washing the Body

Both Jewish and Muslim orthodox prayer practices include very specific rituals of washing prior to formal prayer times. Consider the Muslim practice of wudu, or ablution, which refers to the washing of the body. The general obligation—meaning the minimum obligation—is the washing of the face, the arms up to the elbows, one-quarter of the head, and both feet to the ankles. Clean, fresh water is used, and most gestures are repeated approximately three times. The exception is the head rinsing, which is usually done once with wet hands. The wudu is performed out of respect for Allah, and is used to wash away physical impurities, while symbolizing the further washing away of spiritual impurities.

A cleansing process is certainly helpful. If you are comfortable with your hygiene, you will have one less distraction during your prayers. And the process of washing is sure to invigorate you and increase your alertness. So try taking a few moments to wash up—even if it’s a simple washing of the hands and rinsing of the mouth.

Fasting

Quite a few religious observers believe that the cleansing process should include fasting—that is, depriving oneself of certain foods, or of food in general, for a set time before prayer. This element of spirituality should be incorporated in your prayer life with guidance and prudence; abuse of this technique is very detrimental. If you choose to avoid eating for an hour or two before prayer so that your body is not fatigued by the digestive process at prayer time, that’s fine. But without intelligent control, fasting can result in physical pain, hallucinations, weakness, and other problems—problems that not only fail to contribute to the prayer process, but are also truly harmful. So seek guidance if you want to take this cleansing technique to challenging levels.

Emotional Cleansing

It is helpful to cleanse yourself of negative feelings such as anger, fear, and anxiety prior to prayer. Of course, sometimes we pray specifically to relieve ourselves of these emotions. But, as far as possible, try to rid yourself of distracting and harmful thoughts by putting yourself in the presence of love. Recognize that you are in a spiritual place where you will not be harmed. You are surrounded by God’s protection. If negative feelings persist despite these reassuring thoughts, try using breathing exercises, discussed below, to better relax. Once anxiety and anger have been replaced by love and calm, you will be able to enter a deeper state of sincere prayer, not only more quickly, but also more fully.

Breathing

One of the most effective and traditional modes of prayer preparation is concentration on the process of breathing. When entering a prayerful state of mind, focus on breathing slowly and deeply, and pay attention to the rhythm of your breath. This will promote calm, as the tissues are fed with oxygen and the body successfully performs its task of respiration. Proper breathing, combined with appropriate posture and the right attitude, will create a sense of unity throughout your body, producing balance and harmony. This is a great preparation for effective prayer.

To further increase a feeling of health and vitality before prayer, try some relaxation breathing exercises. When you inhale, fill your chest cavity with air. Hold the breath for a few seconds, allowing your body to feel saturated. Then exhale very slowly, so as not to tense your body. The physical sensation of relaxation, wholeness, and fulfillment will permeate your mind and spirit. You can even picture God’s energy coursing through you, healing and renewing your body and soul.

Posture

Saint Benedict and many other great spiritualists have believed that since we were born into the body, it therefore is necessarily part of our communication with God. Thus, it is not surprising that posture—sitting, standing, and kneeling—has held a place in the practice of prayer throughout history, and should be seriously considered when preparing for prayer.

Most spiritual teachers suggest that we sit during prayer. This does not mean that kneeling is wrong or ineffective. It can be an excellent posture for prayer, especially if you view it as a beautiful act of humility and a reminder of servitude in your prayer life. However, sitting in an upright position has been found best for simple concentration and comfort, and allows a balance and flow of the body’s energy. A straight back distributes pressure properly along the spine. It also allows for easy breathing, and generally doesn’t fatigue the body to the extent that standing and kneeling do. Images of Buddhist monks in the lotus positions—with legs drawn in “Indian style” and folded over each other—immediately spring to mind. But you don’t have to go that far; there are a number of effective sitting positions. Whether you decide to use a hard chair or the floor, take care to avoid severe rigidity. If using a chair, plant your feet firmly on the floor to maintain good posture. Avoid soft chairs and beds, which may induce fatigue.

You’ll find that some techniques differ greatly from the straight-backed sitting position. Walking meditation, for instance, uses the stimulation of slow walking over textured terrain as an avenue for increased awareness. Here, suffice it to say that posture can make a big difference in the preparation for and practice of prayer.

Keep in mind that even before settling into your chosen prayer posture, you can further prepare yourself for prayer by stretching. Teachers of and books on disciplines such as Yoga and Tai Chi can provide you with a variety of helpful stretching techniques. These arts are specifically designed to promote health, encourage balance within the body, and therefore aid you in attaining a peaceful state of harmony. Stretching releases tension that builds up during times of stress, and therefore helps to mentally prepare you for prayer. A stretching period will also make you feel more awake and alert, enabling you to enjoy greater clarity during your prayer time.

The preparation activities discussed above are not only spiritually enhancing, but also health enhancing. You can see how prayer affects every part of your being, body, mind, and spirit. Hopefully, you have now chosen a sacred place, and have selected ways to ready your body and mind. But there are still other ways in which you can enhance your prayer time. The next section looks at various objects or accessories that can help create a calming and spiritual atmosphere, and also aid you in maintaining focus as you develop your prayer life.

PRAYER ACCESSORIES

A number of items can help enhance the prayer experience. It is important to recognize that these objects are not the heart of prayer itself; they are accompaniments to the practice. Hopefully, they won’t serve as distractions. Depending on your religious affiliation, on the form of prayer you choose to practice, and on your own preferences, you may wish to use one or more of them to put yourself in a more reverent state of mind and to maintain focus. Some of the following articles—candles and music, for instance—are easy to find in a variety of stores. Other objects—prayer beads and religious statues, for example—can be found in stores that specialize in religious articles and/or meditation aids, or via a search on the Internet. In addition, some large houses of worship have religious article stores on the premises.

Prayer Beads

Several different religious approaches use beads, usually strung into a loop, to keep count of prayers. Some Christians use rosary beads when saying the rosary, because of the number of repetitions involved. They also may use rosary beads to keep track of Jesus Prayer recitations, if hoping to accomplish a certain number of repetitions. Muslims sometimes use prayer beads when reciting the Ninety-Nine Holy Names of Allah. And some Buddhists use prayer beads to keep track of their mantras. Therefore, prayer beads are cross-cultural prayer aids.

Statues and Other Art Objects

Statues; framed artwork; mandalas, the geometric designs used in Buddhist meditation; and other sacred objects may all be used as visual aids during the practice of prayer. Some art objects help the practitioner create a helpful mental image by offering a depiction of a spiritual figure. Some simply serve as focal points, drawing the practitioner away from distractions and into the awareness of One.

In addition, certain objects have great symbolic meaning. A cross, for example, can symbolize suffering, redemption, or the meeting of the Divine and the human. It can also symbolize the entirety of the universe as understood via the four directions to which it points. And mandalas, in particular, lead the practitioner on a spiritual journey by offering various shapes and spaces—all invested with cultural symbolism—that bring him slowly into a single point.

Candles

The burning of candles is a common practice during personal prayer. There are several reasons for this. First, the flame can serve as a focal point, calling the practitioner’s attention away from other distractions, and encouraging the dwelling upon Oneness. Second, light is symbolic in many cultures, representing redemption, resurrection, enlightenment, and clarity. Finally, candlelight is more relaxing than artificial light. There is less glare and more shadow, fostering a thoughtful, meditative mood.

If you feel that the use of candles would enhance your prayer practice, choose candles and candle holders that you particularly like. Perhaps a certain scented wax will help you find calm. Many people choose sandalwood, ocean, and pine scents because of the nature setting they call to mind. Others choose scents that closely align with those used in Churches and monasteries, such as frankincense and myrrh. Small votive candles can be found in all sorts of scents, and when placed in little colored-glass holders, they are safe and attractive, as well as relatively inexpensive.

Of course, the use of candles necessitates great caution. Be sure that all holders are secure, and that no objects will make contact with the flame. Extra precaution should be taken if you close your eyes during the prayer session. Make sure that the candle will remain upright, and that it is placed out of the reach of small children and pets. Your prayers can then be worry-free.

Music

Writer Aldous Huxley once stated, “After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” Music has been linked with ritual and spirituality since the dawn of humanity. Its capacity for hypnotizing rhythm and liberating beauty is a powerful addition to prayer time. So when creating your sacred space, consider adding a compact disk or cassette player, along with a supply of appropriate recordings.

Be sure to select music that puts you at ease, not melodies that overstimulate you with distracting lyrics. Chants offer solemn sounds and attractive rhythms that can enhance your concentration. Hymns often provide beautiful but soft lyrics that serve as a means of adoration.

Finally, be aware that some people choose to make their own music as a form of prayer. Whether beating a drum, swaying and singing, ringing a bell, or playing a flute, a repetitive and comfortable sound can draw you away from the stresses of words and speech, and into a different mode of communication with God.

Incense

You may enjoy filling your prayer environment with a pleasant scent—one that is special to you because of the feelings it evokes—by burning incense. The sense of smell is strongly anchored to emotions and images. Some people like to use this link as a way to bring themselves into a peaceful, reverent state. Various scents are available at many retail stores, from drug stores to specialty shops. Some people like to match the type of incense that is used at their house of worship, while other people prefer natural scents—sage, pine, or flowers, for example.

Prayer aids can be used to make your sacred space more appealing, more calming, and more effective. Depending on the prayer aids you choose, they can help you relax and set aside the worries of everyday life, better focus on your prayers, or more easily find God as He works within you. But always remember that you and God are the only necessary elements of prayer.

HEALTHY ATTITUDES FOR PRAYER

You have chosen a sacred space, prepared your body and mind, and gathered together various articles for your prayer time. Perhaps you have even lit a candle and some incense. Is there anything else you can do to make this special time more serene and fruitful?

Earlier in this article, we discussed the importance of ridding yourself of negative feelings prior to prayer. But if you wish to enjoy a truly fulfilling prayer experience, you should go beyond the simple shedding of unpleasant thoughts and emotions. The attitude that you bring to prayer makes a big difference. Try to remember that prayer changes us, not God. And in order to benefit from that change, we must be open, honest, and active. There’s no doubt that the following pointers will enhance your prayer experience.

Pray With Receptivity and Simplicity

If you enter prayer believing that you know what’s best, you will not be open to change. A receptive and simple attitude is far more productive. Instead of fighting with the universe over what is happening, or what is not happening, be receptive to new perspectives. Be willing to receive direction instead of giving it.

The truth is that we don’t always know what’s best. So surrendering the ego and praying for God’s will is the best course of action. In his book Recovering the Soul: A Scientific and Spiritual Search, Larry Dossey, MD, quotes from the literature of philosopher William Irwin Thompson: “We are like flies crawling across the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.” Although there is something striking going on, we don’t have the perspective needed to understand the universe in its entirety, nor our complete and specific role in it. Someday we will have that ability; that’s heaven or nirvana. But for now, we have to rely on the goodness and knowledge of God to guide us. So being receptive to God—listening, remaining open, and relinquishing control—is crucial to effective prayer.

One way to remain receptive is to pray simply. Clouding your receptive attitude with all sorts of complex words and wishes may damage your openness. By praying simply, you can reduce distractions and concentrate on the heart of the matter. So avoid getting caught up in impressive language or in sophisticated bargaining devices. Pray as a child would pray, with uncomplicated devotion.

Pray With Faith and Courage

It is so easy to doubt yourself—your worthiness, your effectiveness. And when you picture God as a perfect being and a critical judge—that is, when you see Him as a human—you can easily become intimidated. Maybe you doubt that you are being heard. Or maybe you have the faith to believe that God is listening, but doubt that your meager prayers can make a difference. Does that sound familiar?

There’s a reason for that old phrase, “ It takes a leap of faith.” Faith requires a leap; you must jump in. Prayers are answered when you truly believe that they are heard. Summon up faith by remembering that intuition has led you to prayer. Intuition is honest and fundamental; it counts.

Once you find the faith to pray, pray with courage. Timidity and hesitation keep you paralyzed. When you pray with courage, you confirm your significant role in the world, as well as God’s presence in your life. Praying with bravery makes prayer a dynamic and engaging process. So have the audacity to pray.

Pray With Sincerity and Gratitude

You can fool yourself only to a point, and you certainly can’t fool God, who is pure knowledge. Therefore, there’s no sense in praying with a “front”—by babbling pretty but empty words, by bargaining with promises that you won’t really keep. Truthfulness opens you to change and brings you closer to God, as God resides in truth. So pray from the heart, not the mind. Pray with genuine earnestness and with candor.

Part of praying sincerely and honestly is to pray gratefully. When you are honest with yourself, you begin to see all the beautiful things in life. Then you realize the selfishness of your anger and complaints, and naturally become more thankful. Some of the many benefits of your new gratitude will be a greater ability to cope with hardship, and a greater happiness with all the little joys that life has to offer.

Pray With Positivity and Confidence

In his book How to Get Your Prayers Answered, Rabbi Irwin Katsof tells us to pray with absolute positivity. A negative attitude can prevent you from recognizing God’s guidance. Negativity results in a certain blindness in which you refuse to see change, let alone to accept it. That’s why it’s so important to pray with full expectation that your prayers will be answered.

Undoubtedly, there will be times during prayer when you feel that nothing is happening. Don’t slip into negativity! In Simple Prayer, John Dalrymple reminds the reader not to evaluate the effectiveness of prayer based on how it feels at a given moment. Feelings constantly change. The true test is what you are like as a person—how your daily attitude has changed. So instead of being self-critical, be confident that through it all, you are being heard. God is a real God who will answer your prayers in some way.

Pray With Energy and Love

Prayer should not be performed passively. It may be difficult and challenging, or it may be relaxing. Either way, prayer time is not the time to do nothing. To reap the benefits, you must put in the effort.

In Lift Up Your Heart: A Guide to Spiritual Peace, author and Catholic bishop Fulton Sheen teaches us that in prayer, the soul must collaborate with God. So, for example, a person who is suffering from an addiction must not only pray to God, “Please help me to break this addiction,” but must also really desire to break the addiction. Therefore, he will pull his weight in the process and cocreate a change with God. This takes energy.

Add to that energy by praying with love—love of God, your fellow humans, and yourself. When you let go of hatred and resentment, your vision becomes so much clearer. Furthermore, your words become naturally sincere. Love brings everything to the surface—the good and the ugly. And with everything at the surface, you can begin to form a healthy relationship with God.

Pray With Perseverance and Patience

Finally, don’t give up. Our culture touts the glories of instant gratification. We want answers now. But God’s time is not our time. So persevere in your prayers and wait with patience. You will be answered, even if the response is not the one that you were anticipating. As Saint Jose of Avila, the Christian mystic, once stated, “Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things pass away. God never changes. Patience obtains all things. He who has God finds he lacks nothing. God alone suffices.”

CONCLUSION

It is both interesting and helpful to understand the various forms that prayer can take, as well as the many ways in which prayer time can be enhanced. If you are just beginning your practice of prayer, this article, hopefully, has aided you in finding a comfortable direction. If you have been praying for some time, you may have already found that certain types of prayer seem to fit you just right. But keep in mind that there’s something to be said for breaking away from your routine and trying different prayer techniques and traditions. For some people, routine has a disturbing way of watering down the zeal or kavannah—a Hebrew term for true devotion, passion in prayer. To avoid this problem, why not add spark to your spiritual practices by trying some new patterns?




Copyright © 2001 by Helene Ciaravino

From How to Pray by Helene Ciaravino (Garden City Park, New York: Square One Publishers)