As long as I can remember, I had a faith in God. I remember one instance when I was about 13 years old, and I was going through what I thought at the time was a serious depression. I was in church for Christmas Eve Mass and I looked up at the ceiling and asked God to help me. I conveyed my love to God and asked him to come into my life. I remember being very desperate and sincere when doing this. At that precise moment, I felt Him pour into me. It was like a glass filling up. I looked away from the ceiling and knew He had come into my heart. It is a presence I feel very strongly to this day.

Growing up Catholic meant going through the ritual of going to Mass. My Mom also made me go through first Holy Communion and Confirmation (and, as a baby, they baptized me). I hated having to take time out after regular school and go get catechism after school. In retrospect, I'm glad I did it. But I think the church shouldn't allow these sacraments until one gets older so a person can better understand what is really going on. Also, the nuns were into corporal punishment. One time, a nun grabbed me from behind by my hair and lifted me off the ground. When I got one foot on the ground, I spun around and slugged her really hard in her stomach. She doubled over. I never got my hair pulled again.

It was not until my depression occurred that I knew God existed. I believe God is what exists around us and what is not within our existence. God is our spirit, so to speak. My sense is that God lives inside of me and can for everyone if that person wants it.

I really do not see my faith as a "spiritual path." I see it as being "immersed," like being engulfed. I did not follow a path. The faith was always around me. Today, I pray throughout the day. I don’t do it as a ritual. Rather when I see suffering, I say prayers. When I go to sleep at night, I say a prayer to thank God for another day of living. I do not see the prayers as a means to enhance my day or my work. I see them as a gift for which I do not expect some kind of benefit or payment to me. Praying keeps my priorities in line. They help me to try to live an ethical life.

I get the most out of the Bible. I also books like Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, The Art of Happiness, Ethics for the New Millennium, and Living Buddha, Living Christ, which help me articulate my belief and practices.

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